Wednesday, July 16, 2014

You can check out of the spa any time you like...

Miss Hanzo explains to Sporty the conditions of her leaving the spa. There are always conditions.

She will take the name Elena Rodriguez. She will be issued complete documentation under that name, including credit cards, a driver's license, and a passport. She will also receive a cell phone, which will occasionally receive texts. She will know what to do with those texts when they arrive.

Miss Hanzo looks suspiciously like Life in the Dreamhouse Raquelle, who was $9.99 at Ross. When I saw that the back of her box proclaimed her favorite phrase to be "Ta ta, off to the salon!", the irony sealed the deal for me. The frenemies nonsense with Barbie? All a front. Miss Hanzo has seen horrors that would turn Barbie's ears and knees green.

Since she's supposed to be sort of, more-or-less, partly Asian--as well as being sneaky and financially aware--her surname is Hanzo as a shout-out to sixteenth-century samurai/ninja Hattori Hanzo. Yes, I'm aware that in Japanese, the surname comes first, so his family name was Hattori. But that's too easily confused with Hattie, Cleo's cousin... and the characters that make "Hanzo" supposedly mean "half" and "financial," which surely ought to mean "I'm bankrolling some of this from mysterious sources."

I had gone so far as to make the decision not to buy Raquelle the first time I saw her at Tuesday Morning -- despite thinking she has one of the best Barbie-line faces ever -- on the grounds that I don't touch Barbies. Then Elena Rodriguez ingratiated herself, which removed that barrier.

I don't collect fashion dolls, though. I just seem to accumulate them.

Meanwhile, Hayden is NOT HAPPY with how things have changed since the first round of visitors arrived.

The toilet has no handle. There is cat hair the size of tumbleweeds in the bath tub. The bathroom's not tiled. It's not even at the right end of the house!

Katie still doesn't have shoes!

D'Laura goes in the kitchen to avoid conflict.

The shelving unit is covered with dust, and doesn't even have bric-a-brac on it yet.

Sophie attempts to explain to an irate Hayden that there are things that needed to be worked out as part of her settling-in, and it's very close to being in order, and she'd be glad to go tile-shopping on Saturday.

A few more things:

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