Just One Phony After Another

Down the path of madness lie ponies.

Some time in early 2016, I went on a mini-My Little Pony Surprise Pack binge because Kroger had them on sale and buying more eased my resentment that grocery shopping must be done whenever one runs out of food, rather than only when there's a fun recipe in the future.

Somehow, in the course of post-Xmas dollar store sales, that led to this, at Family Dollar.

Like Equestria Girls, but with an extra buzzword!

That, in turn, led to this, which has an even more complicated origin that I'll get to down below the jump.

How many different toy lines are being knocked off here?

 We be unboxin'...


The only proof I can find that this happened to anyone but me is a single video review that had one view before I watched it.

Girls love ponies!

Electra -- I think she should be named Electra for the lightning bolt in her eye make-up -- and her pony Thunder are attached to the card with sandwich tie-thingies. Electra can stand on her own and is surprisingly heavy. Thunder can also stand on her own, and her neck turns.

The real surprise? Electra has click knees! There's only one click of motion, but that's a lot for a clone.

L-R: old articulate Bratz, Electra, Ever After High small bargain forest creature, Monster High fakie, Monster High Abby.

While Electra clearly belongs to the large-headed Cute Monster Girl genre, her closest resemblance is to Featherly, the forest pixie from the Dragon Games "basic" line of Ever After High. However, she's definitely Bratz height. I suppose she might be intended to resemble Equestria Girls Indigo Zap, but... she doesn't, much.

"Hush, Thunder. I'm sure Uber Eats will bring carrots any minute now."

The real shocker! Electra can sit with her ankles crossed. Careful observers will note that she and Thunder are different shades of white, also that her lightning bolt and Thunder's floral sidewalls have no relationship whatever. But look at Thunder's sweet expression!

Now, where there's one pony, there will soon tend to be a second pony. In my defense, it took almost a year, and it happened only because I'd ended up at Metrocenter Mall, where it's a race to see whether the mall will last until the next light-rail extension delivers fresh customers. Down by the play area, on the way to a Sears that is staying in business only because nobody has remembered to close it, is a non-branded toy store. It may not be there tomorrow. It sells nothing but clones. (It is not, however, named Send In The Clones.)

I count Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony, and... well, that's not that close to Littlest Pet Shop.

Searching for My Pretty Elsie Little Princess gets only wholesale sites promising Elsie by the case, with pink or blue ponies. It looks like Elsie only comes in blonde, so my picking through the shelves for an Elsie of color was fruitless. Alas.

We know Elsie is a Strawberry Shortcake clone because her skirt has a fruit on it. From a distance, looking through the box window, I thought it was a jalapeño, but lo, it is written, below beer-swigging green fruit-type-thing... coconut. 

Given where coconuts come from, if there was ever an occasion for this doll line to include an Elsie with darker skin, this was it. I'm so frustrated with her whiteness that I looked up how to dye vinyl dolls.

Put the lime in the coconut...

The pony has a better expression but worse hair. (The pony's name is Silver, and that's just how it is.)

Heyo, Silver.

And that's how I found myself boil-washing a phony's mane and tail. Silver has terrible tangled hair that comes loose if you try to comb it. Silver will probably be my first serious re-rooting project, some time, which means I'll be carrying around a horse's head. Good times.

Around here, we call this "Tuesday."

Don't be distracted by how Silver's head and body are different colors (hmmmm, you can dye ponies, too...). Be distracted by how the pony has inset eyes. Elsie has sticker/painted eyes. Silver has inset eyes. The pony has more human eyes than the person.

Aaaaaauuuuuugggggghhhhhhhh!!!

Silver got a little trim to the mane, and Elsie got her own boilwashing. I'm now contemplating a more apt outfit for Elsie, but that has to wait until I've cleared off enough flat surface to sew (small house means one project at a time). Meanwhile...

Ponies may safely graze.