|Abbie takes pink to levels that Barbie only dreams of.|
A couple days after the Makie Gift Certificate Disaster, Mom emailed me to announce: "We found an articulated fakie!" Given my passion for fakies, nobody was so cruel as to make me wait for Christmas Day, though I did have to postpone Abbie's deboxing until I could go replace the new iPhone that I managed to destroy within 24 hours of getting it as my free upgrade, coincidentally right as my flight to California was delayed, which led to the discovery that it's impossible to make a long-distance call from a payphone at Sky Harbor, which... most important travel tip: Don't be me. Not being me will save you endless trouble.
Anyway, it's time to debox Abbie.
|Abbie's dressing room was furnished from Restoration Hardware.|
Abbie's manufacturer, Big Orange Toy, has possibly the best address ever.
|Land Mass Experimentation District beats Industrial Drive or Battery Street all hollow.|
Here's Abbie out of her box but still attached to her backing. The pinks seem brighter, and she definitely has a thing for shoes.
|I try to look insouciant, but my articulated knees are cold!|
|The accessories are designed to be held!|
|I'm from one of Coach's attempts to go youthful.|
|Bag on the right is for the very chi-chi grocery store!|
|I can stand... but what do I stand for? Some nights, I don't know.|
|Naked, but not afraid.|
And she can kneel! (She's not performing any problematic salutes, just helping herself with balance by touching the edge of her box.)
|I perform this posture while facing east.|
|Because the internal rate of return is inadequate, that's why!|
|Thanks to all the yoga, I have NOT thrown my back out.|
|My eyes are windows to my soul, rather than decals.|
I brought some of Mom's fashion dolls downstairs for comparison. Here's Abbie with Barbie's friend Nikki (to the left) and Liv Daniela (to the right).
|Of the three of us, only Nikki seems to look forward to physicals.|
More important -- look at those bodies! From neck to hips, Abbie has a Liv body. Below the hips, not so much -- those knees don't match anybody. The feet, however, are another matter.
|Abbie has Liv hands and Fashionista feet.|
|When going TO the party feels like the walk of shame, maybe this isn't the right look for me.|
|My FIRST act upon getting home to Arizona will be hitting the Sparkle Girlz clothing stash.|
|I greet the world with optimistic detachment.|
Abbie's eye proportions are more similar to a Bratzilla, but her face is much narrower.
|Yoga provides no proper response to being turned into a frog.|
|Yoga DEFINITELY did not address werewolf gals in beachwear.|
|I feel like we're on a bus and it's rude to try to interact.|
|It is possible that 14-inch dolls must be worshipped as deities.|
Abbie is not a fakie. Abbie is Abbie.
She has a good deal in common with American doll lines (which mercifully spares her the Chinese "chopstick legs" that fakies usually get), but she's meant as her own person, and not a cheap little person, either.
So when she shows up New In Box at a thrift store in Stockton, the proper question is "what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"
Here to ask her that question is larger-Bratz Jade, in an outfit that Mom constructed for her because I was not dealing well. Jade was my Christmas gift for my younger sister, who's Korean. (Jade also got a hanbok, which I'll show off later.)
|They're weird, Abbie, but they'll make clothes for you.|
Here she is with my official Christmas presents: Phoebe (Bratz Action Heroez), Misha (a vintage Bratz Catz Yasmin), and Cloe Jean (a different line of larger Bratz, with even larger headz). Abbie is grateful for a large head that allows her to hold her own in this company.
|The sheer brain capacity we offer is AWESOME.|