Actually, at the end of June, my cheap metal futon frame broke at a stress point. After the month that was required to find a new bed frame that I liked, I can testify that it's very difficult to feel like a sexy, successful adult while sleeping on a futon mattress on the floor. At twenty-five, I could do it. At my current age, which is not 26, the concept was a disaster. Even the sewing machine scorned me, so I still haven't clothed some exciting arrivals that my parents sent.
Now, from the vantage point of my fresh-from-Craig's-List replacement bed frame, I feel like a king of France ruling the civilized world from a reclining position, so it's apt that on last night's trip to Tuesday Morning, I found a lone Mystixx Rococo Zombie for $7.99 (list price $19.99 when introduced at Toys R Us).
|Bonjour. Je voudrais manger vos cervaux.|
Here's the "normal" head peeking out the back of the box.
|Bonjour! Si je suis normal, pourquoi suis-je verte?|
I don't think anybody even thought about this fact when picking her to be a Rococo Zombie. The other Rococo Zombie (there were only two), girly pink Talin, makes sense, but shouldn't her companion have been Siva, descendant of a royal house of vampires?
It is possible that I'm the only person outside Playhut's marketing department who has spent even ten minutes caring about the characterizations of the Mystixx line, and the existence of Rococo Zombies suggests that I'm the only person who's done so while sober, period. (Let us not forget these are the people who came up with the slogan The doll you can change the face of, and then called it done.)
|Mes cheveux fait quelque-chose.|
The box comes apart easily. Doubtless it was helped by my being caught in a monsoon storm, but there were only three metal ties to undo (ankles and neck), and then Azra came right out of the box.
(A quick Googling for baby names indicates that Azra is a Quranic name meaning virgin -- and doesn't seem to exist in any other culture. If I had a Muslim doll, she'd have a proper Islamic name, but for a Rococo Zombie, this just seems awkward and disrespectful. I hereby dub this gal Azalea.)
|Voulez-vous danser le menuet pendant que je mange vos cerveux?|
Zombies apparently develop severe cataracts, but this does not prevent them from applying their maquillage.
|Hey. I really prefer to eat, like, y'know, leaves. Lots of leaves.|
|Je suis La Fille Sauterelle, défenseur des végétaliens|
|Once one girl gets panniers, everybody will want them.|
|Um, yeah, so I really do look like a giant bug.|
|So, am I supposed to carry on a conversation with both of you?|
'Cause I took German in high school. Mit zwei Köpfen ist ungewöhnlich.
|Ich habe mehr Junk im Kofferraum.|
|You should try out for cheerleading, Azalea.|
|I'm sure you'll fit in fine, Zalie. It's not a big deal.|
|Ulta frequent-buyer card, Zalie. A girl's best friend!|
|Not quite a square peg in a round hole, but getting there.|
The hair quality is actually pretty nice -- soft and smooth. You'll note that it's out of its pigtails, which was reckless of me, as apparently the pouffing action requires that one set of rubber bands be removed (the clear top set) and one set left in (the obnoxious pink bottom set). So I blew that. I may put some bands in later, but in the mean time, let's try some of the hair accessories.
|Quand elle était bonne, elle était plus bonne, et quand elle était mauvaise, elle était horrible.|