Family Dollar BOGO Thanksgiving Frenzy!

Family Dollar announced a two-for-one sale on toys for Thanksgiving Day. This seemed like the moment to check out the Lovely Patsy all-leopard, all-the-time ensembles, so I hustled myself there first thing in the morning, fueled only by rampant curiosity, thrift, and a What-a-Burger jalapeño-sausage biscuit.

Leopard, tiger, zebra, and snake! But mostly leopard.

The toy aisle was the only part of the store that was hopping, and it hopped so hard that it would have alarmed a rabbit farmer. We determined, as a collective, that two-for-one simply meant "buy an even number of items, and the cheapest half of them will be free."




So for $10, I got sixteen outfits (counting the overcoats separately), thus 62.5 cents an outfit. Since I was specifically looking to fit the cheaper dolls (especially the unarticulated underclass) who have more unusual figure types, this is a heck of a deal even if some outfits prove too tacky to be useful. I considered sticking to one overcoat-doll pack and one fashion pack,but there were items in both variations of each that I wanted... and you can't beat the price.

The socks in the background hint that some of the gals have assembled to see what might fit them.

It's like a scrimmage at Filene's basement. Are you ready?

Waiting for a fitting room, we have (clockwise from bottom left) Dolores the Dollar Store Beauty (wrapped in her unfinished rerooting job for warmth), Kayla (because she keeps showing up), Julianne, Kistiñe the Blue Light Special, Akilah Nichelle (because she has an old-style body that I hope is only temporary), and Krys (because she's not thrilled with wearing shorts in this weather and Julianne nabbed the only pair of jeans).

Let's open a box. In true Lovely Patsy manner, the card with the product slides right out of the box. The dresses are on plastic body forms.

L-R: cute, tacky, wut, cute, cute.

The back demonstrates that there won't be any of those damned plastic tag thingies. I ended up using scissors on it anyway, but I probably could have stuck with yanking.

Noble simplicity in packaging.

 The gals with little pointy feet made a rush for the shoes.

Does NOTHING come in a size 6?

Not one fit. Julianne's feet were too small. Kistiñe's are an odd shape. And Dolores' feet are too big. So if there's ever a call for a low-budget revival of Cinderella, Julianne gets the lead and the other two are wicked stepsisters.

Akilah Nichelle got first dibs on dresses because her summer dress is one of my worse. Unfortunately, old-style Barbies were red-hot mamas who overflow current styles. It's too bad -- purple leopard makes her skin glow.

I got the buns,hon, and this dress is not going over them.

She can't wear the less structured dresses, either -- she's very wide across the back -- but Kayla, who has a "belly button" body, can.

Put me in tasteful tiger stripes, and I lose the bitch-face.

Kistiñe can wear the more form-fitting dresses. They fit her better than the Barbie dress she was wearing.

Kayla wonders who invited these tacky people.

 Dolores is a tight squeeze into a semi-fitted dress -- but unlike Akilah Nichelle, she can do it!

Leopard suits me so much better than red plaid did.

Julianne can also squeeze into a form-fitting dress, which thrills her, as these purchases open up her access to frou-frou glitzy dresses for her ballroom dance routines.

Kistiñe, do you think anybody will notice we're wearing the same dress in different colors?

I was so pessimistic about any dresses fitting a Liv body that I pulled one out of the body farm rather than undressing Krys. It turns out that the most sheath-like one can do it. So Krys gets to wear zebra for a while.

I hope Alexis doesn't tell me this isn't "prep" enough.

Here are the five gals in their animal-print loot. These dresses have a strange texture, sort of plastic-like. But I figure that, with all their short-comings, they'll still also work as guidance for drawing patterns to sew more, if I want to.

Score: Leopard-3, Tiger-1, Zebra-1, Snakeskin-0.

Now it's time to unveil the actual Lovely Patsies. One reason to do this -- other than coveting the long coats -- is to have a reference body for whether Julianne is secretly a Lovely Patsy.

Once again, the card slides right out of the box.

Here I am, world!

And the backing is simple.

We may have other quality issues, but we do not have tags through our heads.

Julianne immediately made a dive for the shoes, so it's a good thing they fit her. She wanted the extra dress in that package, but it's too short in the torso for her.

Wait until you see my foxtrot in these.

Dolores, Julianne, and the newcomer got together to compare head molds and face-ups. There's a family resemblance, with Dolores and the newcomer looking most alike.

Are we all cousins, or do we just look like every other pretty girl trying to catch a break in LA?

 The Lovely Patsy jeans are very tight and very poorly constructed.

Lovely Patsy shops at one of those $5 stores in low-end strip malls.

 And the jeans have left stains on the doll's legs.

Either it's the jeans or I have scurvy.

Her blond friend comes wrapped in plastic to prevent the black dress from staining her, but since the plastic is only below the waist and her dress was black above the waist, she appears to have massive bruising on one breast.

This is the last time I buy house-brand Spanx imitators.

I partly released the blonde's ponytail to get a look at the rooting, though it's inevitable that it will be dismaying.

Yep, tight ponytails are related to having bald patches. 

Here's the body comparison line-up, from least to most similar. Oddly, there's no correlation by price. Dolores is not similar at all, while Kistiñe, at the same price point, is very similar.

L-R: Dollar Tree box doll, unknown, Kmart baggie doll, Lovely Patsy, Mattel

Free from body comparison duty, Dolores immediately grabbed the leopard coat. It fit.

If I had decent hair, we'd be partway to a "look."

Here's a close-up of the Lovely Patsy (center) with the two best matches. Kistiñe has a different hip shape and arm attachment, while Kayle appears to have wider hips.

Suddenly Kistiñe realizes that, while she has the proportions of a Belly Button, she has no actual belly button as such.

Lovely Patsy also appears to have less booty than Kayla. Notably for a cheap doll, she's not hollow.

We all have molded-on underwear, so this is not risque at all.

 Kayla can wear the leopard coat, though she's not sure she wants to.

Fast fashion cheers me right up.

 The leopard coat is a tight fit across Akilah Nichelle's shoulders, but she's not letting go of it.

This is a little more S.I.S. than my usual accountant self, but it's so warm!

Ironically, Lovely Patsy herself cannot fit into her own second dress that came in the package with her. It's too tight to even go on over her hips. (I ended up trying it on poor footless Dresden, who's still on a regular Bratz body -- the length is fine, but it's too big in the chest.)

Booty booty booty.

 However, she can fit into the secondary dress that came with the blonde.

This dress should have been in MY package.

Here we see how easy it is to head down the path where the non-articulated underclass is all women of color. The ambiguously brown brunette's face-up is full of character, while the blonde's is insipid. This is how $1 dolls of color leap into my shopping basket, and $1 pale dolls don't.

And yet, we must have the same head mold!

If I only collected dolls of color, this would be no big deal. But the articulated overlords include some very pale characters -- notably Sophie, Hayden, and Meygan -- while medium-brown Alexis is the darkest of the privileged classes. Akilah Nichelle will get a better body someday, and it's not like I wouldn't bring home an S.I.S. or Kenya with articulation for the right price, but in the meantime...

To even things up, I took a look in the body farm, and sure enough, there are pale thrift-shop Experimental Subjects with faces that have more character than the blonde Lovely Patsy.

Mackie-faced Barbies... for that enigmatic look.

Both of these gals can fit some of the clothes in the new packs. But the one on the right has ridiculously rubbery ankles. Mattel, why would you do that?

I'm doing "Material Girl" as my audition song. Don't even think about using "I'm Still Standing," when you're clearly not.

The blonde to the left -- who is known as Maeve -- will get to stay out and visit for a while. Blonde Lovely Patsy is going in the body farm bag.

The leopard-wearing masses wish you a happy Thanksgiving.

At least we're not dressed in turkey print.