In which I bargain with Walmart and we answer the question "What's Yasmin up to?"

The Walmart on Thomas Road was determined that I should have things, to the point of slipping them through the time-space continuum and dropping them at my feet.

That was one hell of a trip, Pippa. Next time, I want the Tardis.

I went to Walmart for the primary reason that anybody goes to Walmart: to take another look at Sparkle Girlz clothes. So primary is this reason that the Sparkle Girlz clothing section looked as if locusts had gone on a back-to-school shopping spree, leaving six $1.97 single packs, a similar number of $8.88 boutique packs, and four of the big $14.95 wardrobe sets.


Actual Sparkle Girlz were selling so poorly that there was a second tray of them shoved on a low shelf across the aisle... but the clothing, everybody wants. What was left were not the designs that excited me, so I trundled off and did my other shopping... and figured I'd take one more look at the doll section, just in case it had magically restocked in the past half hour because you never know.

As I turned away from the still-locust-devoured Sparkle Girlz section a second time, I noticed an incongruous box -- battered, scuffed, and possibly gnawed -- shoved cattywampus in the Monster High section.

YASMIN.

Yasmin with the pale lips and streaky hair I prefer, plus articulated arms -- and in jeans that will probably fit some of the other 12" gals. (And if they don't, it's still a pair of jeans for her.)

You would not believe what I have been through, Hayden.

Yasmin is in bad need of rescue, as there's no way she should still be here when Walmart clearanced the last of the Bratz before I started accumulating dolls in May.

So I took her up to the register and asked for a price scan. Oops! She's not in the system. I explain that I think the line went on clearance almost a year ago, but this one is still here and I really want her. Clerk calls for a manager. While we're waiting, the clerk from the next checkstand wanders over. He's a geeky teenager, and when I explain the situation to him, he announces he thinks the doll should be $7. I should have thought to ask if he collected action figures, as that was a darned good guess at the highest price I'd say yes to.

Manager finally arrives. She says she has no idea how to price Yasmin so I can't have her. I explain again that the reason Yasmin isn't in the system is because she should have been clearanced long ago, so she's only going to be thrown out now, so could I please have her for $7, please?

I'm still surprised that worked.

So I thanked everybody profusely, told the clerk she was the most wonderful clerk ever, and got myself paid and gone before anybody could change their minds.

My monkey has brought Harold and Gerrold to discuss your split ends.

Immediate boil-washing was called for. Yasmin's hair is one of those fibers that resists water, plus the split ends are pretty virulent, but I like the big earthy-hippie mass of hair, so I want to see how it dries before trimming.

When your spa day is done, you totally need to get to work on articles for next month's magazine issue, Yaz.