The Advent of Abbie

When is a fakie not a fakie?

Abbie takes pink to levels that Barbie only dreams of.

A couple days after the Makie Gift Certificate Disaster, Mom emailed me to announce: "We found an articulated fakie!" Given my passion for fakies, nobody was so cruel as to make me wait for Christmas Day, though I did have to postpone Abbie's deboxing until I could go replace the new iPhone that I managed to destroy within 24 hours of getting it as my free upgrade, coincidentally right as my flight to California was delayed, which led to the discovery that it's impossible to make a long-distance call from a payphone at Sky Harbor, which... most important travel tip: Don't be me. Not being me will save you endless trouble.

Anyway, it's time to debox Abbie.

Abbie's dressing room was furnished from Restoration Hardware.

Abbie's manufacturer, Big Orange Toy, has possibly the best address ever.

Land Mass Experimentation District beats Industrial Drive or Battery Street all hollow.

Jieyang is the next prefecture-level city (basically, Metropolitan Statistical Area) to the west from toy manufacturing center Shantou, and Jiedong appears to be the county that sits to the north of the Rongjiang River. But I can't get Google Maps to admit to the location of the Land Mass Experimentation District. My first thought was that the Land Mass Experimentation District is constructed on fill -- and it still might be -- but it appears that "Experimentation District" is just what the local government calls industrial parks that allow foreign investment.

Here's Abbie out of her box but still attached to her backing. The pinks seem brighter, and she definitely has a thing for shoes.

I try to look insouciant, but my articulated knees are cold!

The accessory supply is generous, and I suspect the pieces will look more impressive with a little neutral-colored spray paint. Certainly, I'm not passing up a good blow dryer.

The accessories are designed to be held!

I didn't realize until just now that Abbie can hold her accessories, so photos will have to wait until after their repaint. She also comes with a purse that... sort of opens. It might come apart, anyway.

I'm from one of Coach's attempts to go youthful.

There are also two paper totes that peel off the backing more-or-less cooperatively. I'm thinking these can provide templates to equip the entire community with coordinating scrapbook-paper tote bags or (for the more earnest) re-usable grocery bags.

Bag on the right is for the very chi-chi grocery store!

Here comes Abbie! In her boots, which are in the approved Chinese Ugg style seen on Midnight Magic dolls, Abbie can stand on her own.

I can stand... but what do I stand for? Some nights, I don't know.

 The real goal is to get those boots off, so we can see if her ankles are articulated. The answer is "no" -- but her waist has articulation. Abbie has joints at knees, elbows, wrists, and waist, plus of course her head moves.

Naked, but not afraid.

 Abbie can very easily do front-to-back splits and side-to-side splits. Indeed, her expression suggests that this activity is part of her daily yoga routine.

And she can kneel! (She's not performing any problematic salutes, just helping herself with balance by touching the edge of her box.)

I perform this posture while facing east.

Abbie can touch her face. She finds this gesture useful when the investors she represents ask questions with obvious answers, though she has to remind herself not to do it when Skyping with them.

Because the internal rate of return is inadequate, that's why!

 She can post in a very posing way, though this particular pose is probably a little too Picasso to be good for a formal portrait.

Thanks to all the yoga, I have NOT thrown my back out.

She has a super-sweet face with applied lashes and... wait for it! Inset eyes. Yep -- Abbie's eyes are not painted, nor are they decals. She has insets, like the now-defunct Liv line.

My eyes are windows to my soul, rather than decals.

Her hair is rooted only for ponytail or bun, and since it's curly, it's not ever coming down until and unless I decide she's ready for a full new wig. Messing with curly hair is reckless.

I brought some of Mom's fashion dolls downstairs for comparison. Here's Abbie with Barbie's friend Nikki (to the left) and Liv Daniela (to the right).

Of the three of us, only Nikki seems to look forward to physicals.

Because I was thinking of Abbie as "ambiguously brown" rather than as "black," I chose Daniela (canonically Latina) over Alexa for the Liv comparison. It really doesn't matter, as Nikki is supposed to be African-American and is much, much lighter than Abbie.

More important -- look at those bodies! From neck to hips, Abbie has a Liv body. Below the hips, not so much -- those knees don't match anybody. The feet, however, are another matter.

Abbie has Liv hands and Fashionista feet.

Abbie's back-up dress and shoes fit, a phenomenon that any buyer of Lovely Patsy products knows can't be taken for granted. The dress seems to be from Forever 21.

When going TO the party feels like the walk of shame, maybe this isn't the right look for me.

Abbie looks more respectable in the little sundress that Nikki was wearing, but it's loose in the bust. I didn't go on with clothing comparisons, as she can obviously wear Liv clothes, so she can wear whatever Barbie clothes also fit Liv dolls, and her clothes will therefore fit Liv, who wouldn't be caught in that cocktail dress for anything other than an Ugly Bridesmaid Dress contest.

My FIRST act upon getting home to Arizona will be hitting the Sparkle Girlz clothing stash.

 Here's Abbie with a fully-clothed Daniela and Nikki.

I greet the world with optimistic detachment.

At this point, still thinking of Abbie as a fakie, I became fascinated with the question of whose face she'd borrowed. There are a lot of similarities to Liv, but Abbie's eyes are lower, larger, and rounder.

Abbie's eye proportions are more similar to a Bratzilla, but her face is much narrower.

Yoga provides no proper response to being turned into a frog.

Abbie's skin tone is similar to Monster High's werewolf gals, but her face shape has nothing in common with them.

Yoga DEFINITELY did not address werewolf gals in beachwear.

Abbie has next to nothing in common with My Scene Barbie.

I feel like we're on a bus and it's rude to try to interact.

There's a weird, indefinable resemblance to Moxie Teenz, but it's more about the big eyes than the head mold.

It is possible that 14-inch dolls must be worshipped as deities.

This is about when I looked at AliExpress to see if Abbie showed up... and got a slew of playsets retailing in the $20-$35 range, like this one (on sale as I link to it, but it was full price a couple days ago). Abbie's Disney Princess-like dolls are also detailed and don't come cheap. Big Orange Toys refers to Abbie as its flagship doll product and -- if you wait for the right header to come around -- shows off her points of articulation.

Abbie is not a fakie. Abbie is Abbie.

She has a good deal in common with American doll lines (which mercifully spares her the Chinese "chopstick legs" that fakies usually get), but she's meant as her own person, and not a cheap little person, either.

So when she shows up New In Box at a thrift store in Stockton, the proper question is "what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?"

Here to ask her that question is larger-Bratz Jade, in an outfit that Mom constructed for her because I was not dealing well. Jade was my Christmas gift for my younger sister, who's Korean. (Jade also got a hanbok, which I'll show off later.)

They're weird, Abbie, but they'll make clothes for you.

 Abbie is being declared East Indian, with the full name of Aabharana. She fronts a private investment consortium that might be taking an interest in Miss Hanzo's spa.

Here she is with my official Christmas presents: Phoebe (Bratz Action Heroez), Misha (a vintage Bratz Catz Yasmin), and Cloe Jean (a different line of larger Bratz, with even larger headz). Abbie is grateful for a large head that allows her to hold her own in this company.

The sheer brain capacity we offer is AWESOME.

We'll see more of these gals as they greet their many Bratz cousins later in the week.